


Just Metal

by Lif61 (UltimateFandomTrash)



Series: SPN Hiatus Creations 2020 [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Favorite Season, Gen, Implied/Referenced Past Rape, Implied/Referenced Past Torture, POV Sam Winchester, SPN Hiatus Creations 2020, Season/Series 11, Week 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:34:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24742381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UltimateFandomTrash/pseuds/Lif61
Summary: Sam is angry with God about the things he's been through, but he doesn't want that. He really doesn't. Then why can't he find hope?
Series: SPN Hiatus Creations 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1750201
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Just Metal

**Author's Note:**

> Written for week 5 of SPN Hiatus Creations 2020 on tumblr. Prompt: favorite season.
> 
> My other favorite season is season 5, but everyone was doing season 5, so I thought 11 would be good.

Sam stared at the amulet that he held in his hand, the amulet that he’d given to Dean all those years ago. And this is what it’d led them to. God. The actual, real, creator-of-the-universe-God. And Sam was happy to see him. But at the same time, he wasn’t.

Why hadn’t he intervened all those times he’d been hurt?

Why did he find a place in their story now?

Why had he—

Why had he left Sam in the Cage?

The amulet didn’t glow like it had back in that town that Amara had been going to destroy. It was just… nothing.

Dean had already questioned God, questioned everything, and Sam wanted to do the same, but he couldn’t. Not with fear living in him.

Fear from Lucifer staying in the bunker, staying in _his room_ , fear from him possessing his best friend.

Fear that Dean was going to die.

Fear that it would all end and he’d never get to heal, never get to understand _why_. Why all this? Why the pain, the suffering? What did it mean? What had it led to?

Sam being tormented by PTSD and plagued with catastrophizing, paranoid thoughts that Lucifer was going to take Sam back to his room, and—?

No. No, he wouldn’t. And his life was much more than that. It _had_ to be. Because if it wasn’t, he didn’t know what he was going to do, or how he could keep going.

God was here.

The amulet didn’t glow.

It was just metal.

Nothing.

God was here.


End file.
